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Something you don’t mind losing during the night because it’s Halloween and not even your phone is safe. As a Taurus, I feel right in saying we bulls have kind of a boring sign. Then commence getting fucked up and screaming about America. You could go this route, and if anyone dares say anything to you, just say they’re being unpatriotic. What you need: A knife, smeared makeup, crazy hair, either an all black nighty or a cheetah print skirt suit. As an added bonus, this outfit will transition seamlessly into the bedroom for whatever hookup you manage to lockdown.

How to slut it up: Make your little black dress…littler? Scorpios are truly the most psycho of the zodiac signs (some would argue Gemini, but it’s Scorpio all the way), and nobody knows this more than someone who is unfortunate enough to be exes with them. Just make sure you bring something else for your walk of shame later.

We cannot get enough of our favorite boy wizard and friends.

My brother just got me time-turner earrings, and I legit cried.

What you need: A horn, a tail, and a shitload of glitter. Essentially, they’re superheroes, and there is no superhero hotter than Wonder Woman right now. Some people would tell you to be a Native American, but you know that’s cultural appropriation. Because Aquarians are the wokest of the zodiac signs.

Last modified 29-Dec-2017 20:00